5 Things NOT to say to our Children
Words hurt. Never underestimate the power of a few well-chosen, or careless, words. This is especially true of a dad’s words to his children. Here are 5 things you should never say to your child.
1. “I don’t believe in you.”
The simple fact of knowing that dad believes in them gives your kids strength, courage, motivation, tenacity, and more. Take that belief away and the damage will be huge.
2. “You’re such a disappointment.”
Our kids can mess up, and they will. But if we want our children to learn from their mistakes, it’s the mess we address and how it can be fixed. We need to separate the child – who is not a failure – from the mess. The label of “failure” is a heavy load to carry, and most kids won’t hold up.
3. “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”
Comparisons are a waste of time; they’re hurtful and they serve no positive purpose. Each child is an individual and their calling is to live into the possibilities that go with whom God created them to be.
4. Anything negative about your spouse.
Whether divorced, happily married, or struggling, never complain about your spouse to your kids. Never, ever. Every dad we know who went down that road has had a bad experience. Every dad who talks about their spouse with 100% respect ends up being respected more himself.
Just as solitary confinement is one of the most difficult punishments to endure, being squeezed out or ignored by a parent can be damaging to your child. Talk to your child. Open dialogue means the relationship is going somewhere.